Becoming Me!!

Neck Surgery!!!

My family and I have been through a lot the last several months.  We have faced many struggles with my health over the years but over the last six months we have been able to finally get some answers.  I had a MRI and they found several herniated discs in my lower back and neck.  I have had several injections in my neck and back.  They worked a little on my back but maybe everything in my neck.  So in January I went in and had neck surgery.  They fused my c3-4 and we are crossing our fingers and waiting to see if it helps.

It has been 3 months sense surgery and my headaches have improved, my feeling in my left arm has come back and part of my feeling in my right has also returned.  It didn't help as much as we had hoped but it has helped. 

It has been a long 3 months and at least another 3 before we really know how much it is going to help.  Then another 6 months before I will really start feeling like myself again and know what my total limits will be. 

But because of it I have learned a lot about my family and me. Brad has been such a blessing and a help for me.  I haven't been able to lift anything over 10lbs for the last 3 months and just finally got permission to lift up to 20-25lbs.  You really don't realize how little that is until you can't do it.  I still can't lift my little guy and sometimes it just breaks my heart to watch him reach for me and ask me to lift him up and I can't.  Lucky for him and me that Brad can lift him!!

This has been good for the kids and Brad.  Brad has had to take over a lot of my roles.  He has been amazing and I think and feel because of it the kids have got closer to him.  There has been several people from the ward that have helped us over the last several months and it has been a great help. 

I have learned that my patience is small especially when it comes to myself.  I hope and pray daily that Heavenly Father will continue to look after me and my family.  I also pray that he will give me the strength to get up everyday and start taking my life and days back.  I know my expectations of myself aren't very realistic but then again they never really have been.  I heal slow and that still hasn't changed either.  But everyday is a new day and all I can do is hope the next is better!  I just hope that my family doesn't suffer to much as I go through this.  So here is hoping on prayers and a lot of help from my hubby and kids.  (I just wish I could feel more comfortable being honest with myself and hubby, but that is something I am going to try and do more!  I will let you know how it goes.)