Women's Conference!!

I can't believe I finally got the chance to go to Women's Conference in BYU!  It was a spurr of the moment decision.  My closest friend of about forever Kristin asked me to go with her and I just couldn't say no. 

She called me Tuesday on my birthday to see if I wanted to go.  I know Heavenly Father had been behind it.  It had been a crappy day and an even crappier birthday.  Her offer seemed like the thing I really needed at that moment so I started trying to figure out what to do with my kids so I could go.  My loving husband said he would keep Brayden and figure it out.  So the next day I was on my way to Provo.  I had never been to Women's Conference before, but after going I am hoping to be able to work it out so I can go every year.

It was an amazing experience and I am so grateful to my friend and husband for making it so I could go!!  It is an experience that I would encourage any and every women to do.

It was so much fun!  We stayed in the dorms on campus and just walked to the classes.  Because of my back and neck we had to choose classes that we wouldn't have to run from one to the next.  But the sessions we took we're good and I'm glad we went.  It was just what I needed after the last several weeks.  I needed the uplift that I received from the sessions and from the whole experience. 

I have loved Time Out for Women for years.  Now I am going to enjoy Women's Conference!  My goal is to go every year just like I have with Time Out for Women.

Neck Surgery!!!

My family and I have been through a lot the last several months.  We have faced many struggles with my health over the years but over the last six months we have been able to finally get some answers.  I had a MRI and they found several herniated discs in my lower back and neck.  I have had several injections in my neck and back.  They worked a little on my back but maybe everything in my neck.  So in January I went in and had neck surgery.  They fused my c3-4 and we are crossing our fingers and waiting to see if it helps.

It has been 3 months sense surgery and my headaches have improved, my feeling in my left arm has come back and part of my feeling in my right has also returned.  It didn't help as much as we had hoped but it has helped. 

It has been a long 3 months and at least another 3 before we really know how much it is going to help.  Then another 6 months before I will really start feeling like myself again and know what my total limits will be. 

But because of it I have learned a lot about my family and me. Brad has been such a blessing and a help for me.  I haven't been able to lift anything over 10lbs for the last 3 months and just finally got permission to lift up to 20-25lbs.  You really don't realize how little that is until you can't do it.  I still can't lift my little guy and sometimes it just breaks my heart to watch him reach for me and ask me to lift him up and I can't.  Lucky for him and me that Brad can lift him!!

This has been good for the kids and Brad.  Brad has had to take over a lot of my roles.  He has been amazing and I think and feel because of it the kids have got closer to him.  There has been several people from the ward that have helped us over the last several months and it has been a great help. 

I have learned that my patience is small especially when it comes to myself.  I hope and pray daily that Heavenly Father will continue to look after me and my family.  I also pray that he will give me the strength to get up everyday and start taking my life and days back.  I know my expectations of myself aren't very realistic but then again they never really have been.  I heal slow and that still hasn't changed either.  But everyday is a new day and all I can do is hope the next is better!  I just hope that my family doesn't suffer to much as I go through this.  So here is hoping on prayers and a lot of help from my hubby and kids.  (I just wish I could feel more comfortable being honest with myself and hubby, but that is something I am going to try and do more!  I will let you know how it goes.)

Family

I can't believe how much has happened this week. But I did learn I am raising very strong kids. My oldest Vanessa had to have 8 teeth pulled. At first they were only going to do 4 and then in two weeks do the other 4. Well the Dentist talked us into doing all 8!! She could still feel a little when they started and by the time they did the last 4 she could really feel them, because the roots were so long and close to the jaw. So was so amazing!! She didn't cry or scream so just held my hands and said ouch, several times. She is such an inspiration to me especially then. I hate dentists and have see one in over 6 years and really don't want to ever see one again. She went in knowing it was going to hurt and did it any ways. I can't say I would have done as well as she did.
The longer I have been a parent the more I realize I am learning more from my children then I teach them sometimes!!

Escape!!

Well it is going to be a fun week I can already tell!! Actually it is going to be full. I have 2 extra little boys tell Friday night. They are twins and 6 months younger then Brayden. So I really have my hands full.
I had two escape this afternoon. I almost had a heart attack. But we found them down at the farm in the tractors. Thank goodness my father-in-law saw them and put them in the tractor tell I made it down there. But the boys got to ride in a tractor so for the boys that made it better. It really does serve me right because my little boy did it to their mom last week. What goes around comes around they say!!
So I can't let the twin outside at my house with out me sitting outside and I can't let Brayden outside at Lana's house with out me sitting outside. So I am thinking I will get a lot of sun shine this week and get to enjoy the sounds of tractors!!

SMILE!!

Smile it make people wonder what your up to!!

That is my goal for today. I am going to smile and be happy no matter what the day throughs at me. So far it has been a tough day so I need to change my view and mind set. So I figure this is the best way to do it. There is alway a positive to everything if you look hard enough. My mom always told me to look for the silver lining. So here goes nothing!!

Becoming the Person I want to Be!

I have attended Time Out For Women twice this year! I loved it the first time so much I had to do it again with one of my dearest friends. We have been friends for a long time. I am willing to bet she knows me better then anyone in the world. (Probably even then my hubby in some ways.) It was so much fun and so uplifting it was just what I needed. I am so grateful to Kris for going with me having her with me made the experience that much better. Thanks Kris for going and for your support I was not prepared for Friday night and I am so glad I had you to help!!

I came away deciding that I am going to try and become the person I want to be. So my goal with this blog is to help me find the blessings and good in my life, family, and "Myself". I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one out there that struggles with finding value in myself and the things I do. I can always find someone that does it better, looks better, or that is just all the way around better then me. So this is one thing I really want to change. I want to be able to look at myself and find peace, love, and joy in myself. I also want my home to be filled with love and peace. I love my family and everyday I hope they know that but I also know that I don't say it enough and sometimes my actions say differently. So I am going to work on myself and by doing so hopefully it will help my family. So here goes nothing!! :)

I am going to "Become Stronge Again!!"

So here is one thing I want to change. I want to be able to take time for myself and not feel bad about it. It is okay to do something for me! So in Nov. I am going scrapbooking one weekend with Kris and I'm not going to fill bad that my hubby will have the kids all weekend. (I am telling myself this and starting now so maybe by the time Nov. comes around I will believe it.) Don't worry I am going to do it no matter what. I already said yes and they are saving my spot.

I am also playing more uplifting music in my house through out the day to help lift my mood and the people around me. I find that when I have fun up beat music around I am more happy and easy going. I will let you know how things go. I want to end with a few sayings that have stuck with me sense TOFW.

"Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold before you!"

"Don't be the one thing that stands in your way!"

Loves...